I did it. And another grandma update.

I got the paperwork filled out and sent it. Now we are just waiting for the deed to our place to be completed and we should be good to go, I think. I need to get with my dad to get the deed done but I hate to bother him with it now.

My grandma is still hanging on but not doing very well. My sister and I took our kids over yesterday to see her as she was having a good day. I think she really enjoyed seeing the kids. I was so proud of them all, they talked to her and didn't act scared at all. Brother did a little but he was shy of everyone there not just my grandma.

My mom just called and said she's not doing well at all and that my uncle is staying at the nursing home with her tonight. He said he has a bad feeling about tonight. Grandma has seen my granddad who died well over 10 years ago several times today.

Here's a story that makes you go hmmmmmmm. Tuesday night she was having a really rough time and kept calling out for her youngest daughter who died maybe 17 years ago. Finally my aunt said do you see her, is she here. My grandma nodded "yes" she's here and pointed up at the ceiling. *shiver*

Anyway, we are all just waiting to hear what's going on.

My grandma is dying

My grandma is dying. My mom called me this morning to tell me my grandma is dying, it could be anytime, anyday now. The nurse at the nursing home said in her "unofficial" opinion she probably won't make it through the week.

She's lived a good but hard life. Losing 4 of her 6 kids as adults, losing her beloved husband of 60 plus years.

She's 91 so it's not a shock that she would be at the end of her life but damn it this sucks.

See my feet....

They are dragging.

Dh and I are thinking of buying a new house. I would love to have a new house, we live in a single wide trailer now. Yes, we are trailer trash LOL. The house we would be buying would be a modular home, so basically still a trailer type house but much much better built.

Anywaaaaaaaay, I am supposed to be filling out our credit application but I just don't want to for some reason. I just don't want the hassle I guess. I feel pretty good about getting approved, we make decent money for around here and we pay all our bills on time every month. I just don't want to fill out the damn paperwork.

Happy Mother's Day

Ok, what the heck is wrong with me?! I got a super sweet card and poem from sister that she wrote herself. She fixed me breakfast in bed (toast with butter and a glass of diet dr. pepper). Dh got me a CD I wanted, Josh Turner, which is really good so far. Haven't had a chance to listen to it all yet. Brother is too little to do much but I did get a kiss and hug which is unusual for him, he hates kissing!

Am I spending the day loving on my kids? Nope, I'm spending the day wanting to hide from them. What is wrong with me? Dh is painting the house which is great, it needs to be done but does he have to do it today? On Mother's Day? I guess. It's been raining so much lately he hasn't had time to work on it.

I guess I'll go take some advil, drink some more pop and try to get in a better mood! I think chocolate might be in order. :)

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends that live in my computer!! *huge hugs to you all*

And how many times did your kids make you cry today?

Wow, what a morning! Mornings are usually hectic around here.....take one mom who hates to get up in the morning, add one sister who hates to get up even more than mom and one brother who loves to get up and play first thing. What do you get? Usually chaos about 5 minutes before the bus gets here.

Today sis was brushing her teeth, not dressed yet when I realize it's only about 10 minutes til the bus gets here. I tell her to finish up and get dressed quick. She says......I need to floss first. No time to floss right now I say.....maybe after you get dressed if you have time you can floss. She answers in a very hateful voice "yeah, like you even care" Wow. It really cut me to the bone when she said that. Yeah, I don't care, that's why I get you up, let you watch TV for a little while and get your fricking clothes ready for you every.single.day. No, I didn't say that to her but I thought it. All I said was "when you talk like that it really hurts my feelings. I guess you can get yourself ready for school now." and I walked away.

Of course I went back to help her get her hair fixed, then when she's slowly getting her shoes on like la-de-da, I have all the time in the world I tell her the bus is out there waiting on her. She freaks out and gets mad at me for telling her that and making her panic.

What a great start to the day. Hopefully the rest of the day is better. At least I'm going shopping with my sister tomorrow! We are both taking off work and going on a girls day out even though neither one of us has any money to spend LOL

Back to the Future

Have you ever caught a glimpse of your kid and been able to see the future?

Sometimes with sister it's a particular way she rolls her eyes or how she cocks her head....it's like I can see her as a mouthy, defiant teenager in the not too distant future. A little like her mom, maybe? I don't mean that in a bad way like I expect her to be a demon child or anything. When I see this glimpse I can still see the love I have for her and the fact that she is a good kid under the attitude. I hope I can still see that when she tests my limits someday. And she will test them I'm sure. I sure the heck tested my parents. Took them over the edge really, but thank God they still love me!

The other day I was following brother up our steps on the porch and glanced down and saw his ankles. He was walking up the stairs just as fast as I was, not having any problems. No longer taking them one at a time like he used to. I just got a glimpse of his future walking away, growing up and going out on his own. Not abandoning me! Just growing up. Being an athlete in high school, maybe running track. He just seemed so grown up in that split second it almost took my breath away. My vision was of a tall young man, taller than DH and I both, confident and self assured. But who still loves his mom of course *wink*

I can't wait to see how my visions pan out, I just hope we all enjoy the ride!

4 A.M.

Not the time you want to be awakened by those lovely words "mom, I puked". UGH! Sister is sick. Stomach bug. So I'm home with her and brother today. Hoping that nobody else gets it. I'm making her wash her hands like mad and my hands are so dry from washing them so much already today. It's just only about 10 am here now. She seems to be on the mend a little so I hope it continues that way.

Brother is starting to get a little whiny.....man I hope he's not getting sick! And to make things even worse....we are out of pop! The horror! I might have to venture out and go to town later. We'll have to see how long sister stays out of the bathroom.

Right now they are both watching Milo & Otis. Hopefully that will keep them occupied for a while and keep the arguing down to a minimum. They have really started arguing a lot lately. It is driving me batty!

I better go see if I can keep brother occupied. He's over the movie already.