We've all seen the gag on cartoons, I'm sure. A kid gets a new bike and while riding it somehow it gets run over by a truck or street sweeper...when it comes out the other side, it's still perfect. Maybe even a little shiny-er. But when the kid goes to get on it, it collapses in to a thousand pieces.
Yeah, that's how I feel. Like a vase that's been broken and glued back together and still looks good, but will leak when it's filled with water.
I am on an overnight work trip tonight to the big city. My kids are staying with my parents. My first thought when I got to the hotel room was I gotta call Wes and tell him I made it here safely and how horrible the traffic was on the way down.
I didn't want to stay over night at all. I didn't want to leave the kids or leave the house, but I have to keep my job, don't I? I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown but I know we will probably go out to eat this evening so I have to hold it off.
So for now, I'll be the shiny bike.
5 comments:
Your pain just seeps through your words, Kim. I wish I was there to give you a hug and a shoulder to lean on. I hope you got through the group meal okay -- sometimes it is very good to have others around. That is why I kept showing up at work, just to have SOMEONE to talk with, during the day, at least. I don't have kids and had NO family in the state where I was living at that time. And we all know that feeling, of wanting to pick up the phone and tell your husband about something, or seeing some event advertised and thinking that you hafta remember to tell him about it. Looking back, I am just not sure how I got through the initial days, weeks, months. You can e-mail if you want: jessicatx48 "at" yahoo "dot" com. My situation is not the same as yours, but I am available. {{HUGS}}
Kim, I have not had to deal with what you are facing buddy, but your words made it all so real. I hope you had an okay time.
Thanks. It was actually a very nice time. We had supper and I had a VERY strong margarita and two white russians. I rarely drink but I did last night! Plus it was good company along with the meal.
It helps so much to have this blog to write down everything. And your comments help a lot too.
Hi Kim.
Just went through your blog and i quite frankly dont know what to say ... But i want to say something ... Its strange that deep down in our minds we know that somethings are inevitable but we are still sooooo unprepared when they finally occur. I cant say i know how you feel cause only you do. I have however dealt with the loss of people very close to me and i know it is very far from easy.
One thing for sure though is that time is a healer. The beginning is always the roughest part. This is when you have to be most strong for your kids and for yourself ...
Well i really dont know what to say, but i`m truly sorry for your loss and if it makes you feel any better just remember that at some random spot across the globe, some random person is saying a silent prayer for you.
cheers
Kim, the way you share and express your feelings is so tangible and real, and beautiful in the midst of the such deep sorrow. I'm glad that blogging is helping you deal with part of this. My prayers remain with you and the kids.
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