Life Lessons

Haven't done this for a while.....a couple of life lessons I've picked up lately.

First, when you sign up for automatic bill pay on your television satellite service don't forget and go ahead and pay the bill from your bank's online bill pay service. If you do you will notice a $100 difference in your bank account balance.

Second, when you pay your credit card bill from your bank's online bill pay service make sure you haven't already set up the same payment for a different day. If you do you will notice an additional $100 difference in your bank account balance.

I'm so glad I could share my bits of wisdom with you today.

Things I wanted/things I've got

I used to say that all I wanted was to be able to pay our bills as we got them in. I never wanted to be "rich". Just able to pay our bills and have a little left over, which I guess would be considered rich in a lot of the world. I was thinking the other day about how I've now got what I wanted.

House paid off......check
No car payment......check
No drowning in credit card debt.......check
No worrying about what bill to pay when.....check
Tractor paid off......check
Hell, I've even always wanted a ficus tree and now I've got one.

The one thing I would trade it all for.....to have him back, to have him not die.

Yes, he had life insurance. Yes, it was enough to pay all our bills with some left over to save. Yes, someone even gave me a damn ficus tree.

I don't want any of it. I want him. God, I miss him so much. I don't even know how long it's been since he died. You would think it would be burned in to my brain the exact number of months, days, minutes but it's not. It still feels like it was yesterday. The hurt, the pain and loneliness is still there like it's always been. I wake up with it, I go about my day with it, I go to bed with it. It's always there in my head. He's dead. I'm alone. He's gone. I miss him so much.