Have you ever laid in the bathtub while the water was draining out? Stayed in until the water was completely gone? You feel like you weigh a thousand pounds. Like there is a force pushing you down and it's hard to get up. Like gravity is 10 times as strong holding you down.
Yeah, I've decided that's what grief feels like. Some days I feel like I'm being crushed with the weight of it and if I laid down it would be next to impossible to get back up.
4 comments:
xoxoxox
Thinking of you my friend.
Kim, I know that these first months just feel like you are suffocating. Like you cannot FACE one more day in this situation. When I read your postings, it takes me back to that time, too. And people will tell you that "it gets better with time" and you do NOT believe them. How CAN it?
But I am here to be any kind of a life-line, if you need an ear to listen to your thoughts. Please hold on, sweetie -- I never thought I would be at the 2-1/2 year mark and looking FORWARD to the next day. But here I am...
All I can do is send you virtual {{HUGS}} and good thoughts, and I know from my own experience that this is NOT enough. I will look through some of my fellow "widow" blogs and send you those URL's when I locate 'em. One of the women has the "widow" list on the right side of her blog, listed by the year that each of us has lost our spouse. It helps to read about those who are at the same "time line" as you yourself are. Trust me on this... you may make some blogging friends that way.
{{HUGS}} to you...
Kim -- here is the blog that I mentioned -- Fresh Widow -- http://freshwidow.blogspot.com/ and she has the "widows" list on the right side of her blog, but you have to scroll down a bit to see them. You might want to check them out, especially newer widows like yourself, and see what they are going through. It does help -- take it from one who could not find support in her own big ol' town of Houston. The support from others in this "club" is out there on the 'net, if you want to look for it. {{HUGS}}
A couple more blogs that you might want to look at. These women lost their husbands in 2010.
Missing Bobby
widow2010.blogspot.com
Letters to my husband
deardarl.wordpress.com
Life Is Good
lifeisgood2000.blogspot.com
Just hoping that one of these might offer you some shared moments. Their recent losses -- and what they write about -- sure brought that time back to me. Believe me, the feelings are shared by so MANY of us widows, no matter what the age.
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