Motherly reflections

Last night as I was sitting at my desk playing on the interweb my ds was laying on the loveseat next to me watching cartoons. I was surfing the web looking for something interesting when I suddenly noticed the snores coming from my right. Ds was asleep, laying flat on his stomach, his chubby cheek squished on the cushion, his arm hanging off the side of the loveseat. I waited a few minutes to see if he was asleep for the night...he was.

So with the skill that apparently all mothers possess, I picked him up while he was still asleep to carry him to his room across the hall. He breathed deep and burrowed his face in to my neck as we walked to his bed, me struggling to carry a floppy 48 pounds the last few steps and carefully lay him down and get him in his jammies still asleep. He helped me even though he never woke up, lifting his feet and his little butt as needed before he rolled over still asleep.

As I was walking out of his room I thought back to the times over the last 4 1/2 years that I've picked him up after he fell asleep somewhere besides bed. When he was a tiny baby his weight was like a feather and I could cradle him in one arm. His little baby face fitting perfectly in the crook of my neck, a little slobber to mark me as a mom on my shoulder. Now when I pick him up his face still fits my neck perfectly but now his feet hang past my waist. It won't be much longer and he'll be too big to pick up at all...like his sister.

I remember when I grew up and was too big for my dad to carry to bed. I was heartbroken when that happened but it's nothing compared to the heartbreak of realizing soon I won't be able to carry MY babies to bed.